it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
