I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
