Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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