don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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