Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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