so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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