he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize