Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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