No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
