The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
