When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
