great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
