Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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