She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
