I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
These tits shall not be calmed
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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