from now on my penis is your penis
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
