i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
