so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
