Please, let me fuck your mom
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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