So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
