You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I currently don't understand fingers.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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