He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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