Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
