dude i'm inner monologue high
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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