the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
