I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
sex in a hospital.. check
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
