...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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