i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
