I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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