Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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