Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
your thong is hanging out like whoa
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
