Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
