u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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