my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
