Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
