are you so shy because you have an std?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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