but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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