I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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