After last night, I could never be a politician.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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