Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize