Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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