About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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