But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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