This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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