Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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