So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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