Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize