im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
