can we get nightvision for the apartment?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize