Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
