Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
