What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There's always time for handjobs
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
