That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
