just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
