Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
