The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
now i know why i became what i already was.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
